Seattle's Blazing Bagels: The 2024 Review
Have things changed at Western Washington's leading local bagel chain?
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I saw the film Heretic over the weekend and I loved it. It combines three of my favorite things: horror, discussions about the faultiness of organized religion, and latter-career Hugh Grant (his foppish, dandy charm is weaponized to great effect in the film).
I won’t spoil anything but there’s a wonderful scene where Grant’s character uses the history of Monopoly to explain how the world's major (and minor) religion evolved. Even though the believers of each are (presumably) convinced that theirs is the One True Religion, they’re all interconnected and built upon one another in various ways.
It got me thinking about, what else, bagels.
We all have our preferences, expectations, and beliefs for what we consider the best bagel. What seems like an absolute requirement to one person is nonessential to someone else. Much of that is based on the kind of bagels you ate when you were young, what kind of bagels you had access to, where you grew up, and how important bagels might have been to your morning or weekend routine.
I can sit here and tell you that I know what the best bagel in Seattle is, but I’m basing that sentiment on a series of preexisting factors, nostalgia, and predilections. I’m also thinking about bagels in a much more critical way than most people might. All of which is to say that while I’m secure in the rationality of my rankings, I can’t deny that other people believe different things than me and there’s nothing I can do about that.
That rationale comforts me whenever I see someone say Blazing Bagels is their favorite Seattle bagel.
If you’ve read my 2022 assessment, as well as my review of the Redmond location, you know that’s not a belief I subscribe to. But ever since I started this newsletter, I’ve had people coming out of the woodwork to sing their praises. I’ve even had a few “I grew up in New York/New Jersey” prefaces that made me wonder who failed them.
I can’t imagine I’ll ever get on board with this sentiment but I suppose I owe it to them, and myself, to try and understand their beliefs. Perhaps by understanding them, I’ll understand my preferences even better.
Plus, I’d get to see one of my favorite things of all time: the menu board for traditionally Jewish food that includes a pig.
And if you want to know how I define a good bagel, you can find that here.
WHAT I ORDERED
Plain bagel as-is ($2.75)
Everything bagel with jalapeño cream cheese ($5.95)
THE EXPERIENCE
I parked in front of the “Best Bagels East of New York” mural and was quickly reminded of the vibes here. I wrote in my initial review that I don’t know what fast food restaurant this building used to be but I do not doubt that it was one. Inside, the bagel baskets were many and they were almost all filled. The cashier greeted me warmly and I had my order in hand within minutes. If nothing else, Blazing Bagels has mastered the fast-casual experience.
UPON FIRST GLANCE
As I stood at the counter placing my order, I happened to look up at the plain bagel basket. A pyramid of plain bagels rose skyward, shinier than a disco ball. I swore that, as I stood there mesmerized by this gleaming pile of bread circles, I could see myself staring back at me in each of them.
TOP
The plain bagel was a good size with a medium-large center. It was incredibly shiny to the point where, as I’ve said previously, it looked lacquered. I could see reflections in the crust as I studied it. The top was uniform and textureless. You could run your hand across the entire thing and never encounter a blemish. The color was a nice golden brown. The top was firm but soft, crackling when pressed much like how a soft pretzel might.
The everything bagel was also a solid size and featured a medium-large hole. The light brown top was firm but soft to the touch, providing no crinkles or crackles. There was a strong seed hand at work with what appeared to be a garlic and onion-forward focus (something I noted last time as well).
BOTTOM
The bottom of the plain bagel was firm but soft. There were distinct grid marks from the rack it was baked on. A noticeable Cornmeal Ring of Doom (CRoD) was present and the bottom was very flat all the way across.
The everything bagel was pretty much exactly the same except for a smattering of seasoning.
INSIDE/BITE
The plain bagel offered a tough but dry rip. The bite had a rubbery feel from the exterior. I’d previously described it as “plasticky” and that still held. I started getting a sweet, malty flavor though it was unclear if that was from the exterior or the entire bagel. I did detect some slight crackles in the bite and a medium rebound afterward. The interior was dense but not dry. Overall, the bagel had a sweetness that overwhelmed the experience.
I’d gotten chive cream cheese on both of my previous visits, so I figured I should mix it up. Hence, jalapeño cream cheese. The oblong shape of the bagel made for some very distinct bites, some excessive and some tiny. It appeared that the bagel had been toasted (I wasn’t asked) but somehow I don’t think it did much to improve the experience. The bagel ate a little dry and didn’t offer any texture from the bite.
I thought the jalapeño cream cheese was an upgrade from the chive if only because I tasted something. It also had a little kick to it, which was nice. The schmear was a little oozy but stayed relatively in place after each bite.
I didn’t get much flavor from the everything seasoning and the bagel itself didn’t offer much sensory enjoyment. After a couple of bites, I asked myself “Why are you still eating this?” and promptly stopped.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Is It Good Enough For The Goys?
“Blazing Bagels bums me out because I think it’s exactly the kind of bagel that goys eat and assume it’s what a good bagel is supposed to be.” That’s what I said after my first visit. The point stands.
Is It Good Enough For Northeastern Jews?
“It feels like I was just eating a starch disc with some bland spread in the middle.” That’s what I said after the last visit. The spread wasn’t bland this time, but the flavorless and characterless starch disc remained.
It appears that my beliefs will remain unchallenged.
MY SEATTLE BAGEL RANKINGS SO FAR (11/18/24)
Hey Bagel - 1st visit
Little Rachel’s (Lake City) - 1st visit
Toasted (U District) - 1st visit
Loxsmith Bagels (West Seattle) - 1st visit
Rubinstein Bagels (Eastlake) - 1st visit
Rachel's Bagels & Burritos (Ballard) - 1st visit, 2nd visit, 3rd visit
Macrina Bakery (Capitol Hill) - 1st visit
Cafe Argento (Capitol Hill) - 1st visit
Eltana (Wallingford) - 1st visit
Westman’s (U District) - 1st visit
Blazing Bagels (Ravenna) - 1st visit
Einstein Bros. Bagels (U Village) - 1st visit
Dingfelder’s (Capitol Hill) - 1st visit
Cafe Solstice (U District) - 1st visit
Kelly’s Cannoli (Magnolia) - 1st visit
Bagelbop (Pike Place Market) - 1st visit
You can see my full rankings here.
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"I don’t know what fast food restaurant this building used to be but I do not doubt that it was one."
If it's the one just north of University Village, I'm pretty sure it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and it might have still been one when that name changed to KFC in the 90s, but was a series of short-lived sushi and fusion places after that, until Blazing took it over.