Can I find a good Florida bagel at... Clearwater Bagels
A brief respite in the Sunshine State leads to a bagel journey of self-discovery
Welcome to It’s A Shanda, one Northeastern Jew’s quest to find a decent bagel in Seattle (and beyond). If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, make sure you subscribe so you never miss a review. If you want to make sure I review any specific bagels (or want to let me know why I’m wrong), you can email me at seanmatthewkeeley@gmail.com.
In the opening moments of Billy Crystal’s 1989 standup special “Midnight Train to Moscow,” Crystal parodies the iconic cornfield scene from “Field of Dreams.” As he comically tends to the cornfield in his Los Angeles backyard, a voice on the wind whispers “If you go there, take a jacket.”
That bit always stuck with me because a), it’s one of the most Jewish things I’ve ever heard, and b), I think I hear the same voice, constantly reminding me that I want to be somewhere that requires long sleeves.
All of which is to say that I am not made for Florida. I am, by my nature, a four-seasons kind of person. I grew up in the Northeast where equal parts spring, summer, fall, and winter were how I understood the world to be. I’ve spent many years in Upstate New York, Chicago, and the Pacific Northwest, so I am accustomed to enduring soul-crushing winters to appreciate the short but splendid summer sandwiched between before autumn arrives to usher in the return of pants.
Suffice it to say that I feel misplaced in Florida. The oppressive heat and humidity do most of that work, but there are a million little reasons why I feel ungrounded and disconnected there. There isn’t much I can grab onto.
Except, perhaps, bagels.
I probably don’t need to tell you that Florida has several robust bagel scenes. I’m willing to bet that if you’re subscribed to this newsletter you have at least one family member currently living in Florida. Heck, you might even be a snowbird with a place in Boca Raton yourself.
When I would visit my grandparents in Boynton Beach, bagel breakfasts and trips to Flakowitz were essential (more on that in a future post…). The breadth of bagel options in many Florida towns and cities seems to rival the Northeast as well. Mom and pops, local chains, and national chains litter the state. And on my most recent week in the Sunshine State, I was able to sample a few bagels to find out if there’s some quality mixed in with all that quantity. Perhaps more importantly, I want to find out if there’s something here I can finally grab onto.
We begin in Clearwater, Florida with Clearwater Bagels.
And if you want to know how I define a good bagel, you can find that here.
WHAT I ORDERED
Sesame bagel as-is ($1.60)
Everything bagel with plain cream cheese ($4.29)
THE EXPERIENCE
Brian and Catherine Morris arrived in Clearwater in 1981, a time when there was no such thing as a bagel shop in the region. “Clear-Water Bagels,” a styling that remains in their logos and branding, has a lot more local competition these days, including an Einstein Bros. that set up shop three miles down the road. It doesn’t seem to have dampened their ability to churn out tons of quality bagels that keep locals happy while also honoring the traditions that got them here.
“I baked bagels in New York for five years and I learned from people who belonged to the union. And the recipe I have is probably from the 1950s. The guy who taught me how to bake bagels, they used boxes. People don’t even know what those are. But it’s in our logo, instead of boards and racks. So, you know, old school,” Brian Morris told 10 Tampa Bay last year.
“We’ve got second, maybe even third-generation customers coming in here now buying bagels. It’s kinda cool to see somebody will come in with their kid who was a customer who went to Clearwater High. They’ll bring their kids in. That’s very gratifying.”
UPON FIRST GLANCE
We got a dozen bagels, so I can’t speak to their schmearing skills. Admittedly, I didn’t intend to do an official review (bagel newsletter writers need vacations too!). However, at first glance, they looked pretty solid. And when I cut into one of thems, the interior seemed quite fluffy. So I decided to put on my reviewer yarmulke and go to work.
We didn’t have any plains so I figured the sesame bagel would suffice.
TOP
The top of the sesame bagel was a nice golden brown, though slightly on the lighter side of the coloring. It was very firm to the touch and I noted some crinkly and crispy spots. The bagel itself appeared to be a good size with a tight center. While we don’t usually talk about seed distribution in this section, it was a decent amount of sesame seeds.
The top of the everything bagel was a dark golden brown. There was a solid seed hand at work here. I noted more than a few burned onion and garlic bits. I did not note any salt in the mix. The bagel had a very oblong shape, though it was a good size with a very tight center. Firm in some spots and soft in others, I didn’t detect any crispness on top.
BOTTOM
The bottom of the sesame bagel was very firm and knockable. It was the rare time I noticed a very blistery bottom when the top was much more uniform. The golden brown bottom also featured slightly more sesame seeds than the top. You can also see a little nub on one end.
The unique shape of the bagel was really present from the bottom. It was very firm and even knockable at points. There was some seeding pick-up along the bottom as well, which is always appreciated. I noted a lot of potential texture points all around.
INSIDE/BITE
The sesame bagel offered an extremely tough and crispy rip. I immediately noted a strong bagel smell from the interior. It was a tough chew coupled with some crunchy bits here and there. It rebounded well after each bite. I noted that the interior was a bit dense and that density caught up with me pretty quickly. While I found the exterior flavorful, I could only eat so much of the bagel before it would have gotten a little too gutbomb-y.
Once the schmear was applied, the everything bagel made for a very big bite. I had a lot of similar experiences as I did from the sesame. The lack of salt prevented the everything seasoning from really popping. While I liked the schmear consistency, a lack of flavor from the cream cheese cut down on the enjoyment of the experience. And again, the bagel density caught up with me quickly.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I’ve only had a handful of bagels from the Clearwater/Tampa region to date but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess this is probably the best option available in the region. You can tell this is a bagel with New York roots and there’s enough to like here that I would be cool getting a bagel here again. I had some quibbles with the flavor and density but in the land of chains, the decent mom-and-pop bagel is king.
If nothing else, it was certainly the kind of bagel I can grab onto the next time I’m in town.
Is It Good Enough For The Goys?
I’m gonna guess the Clearwater goyim have no idea how good they have it. Hopefully, not too many of them are settling for the chains in the region and making the effort to get their bagels here, even if it’s a little bit of schlep (which, let’s face it, in Florida, everything is a schlep).
Is It Good Enough For Northeastern Jews?
Like I said, I have my concerns and criticisms, but at the end of the day, you could do a heck of a lot worse. And if these are the bagels inside the bag when you show up at someone’s home in the Greater Clearwater Area, you should be pretty happy about that.
Do you have any Florida bagel recommendations for the next time I’m there? Let me know in the comments below!
MY SEATTLE BAGEL RANKINGS SO FAR (4/14/24)
Old Salt (Fremont]
Old Salt (Ballard)
Loxsmith (West Seattle)
Loxsmith (Beacon Hill)
Westman’s (Capitol Hill)
Westman’s (U District)
OUTSIDE SEATTLE BAGEL RANKINGS (4/14/24)
The Bagelry (Bellingham)
Howdy Bagel (Tacoma)
Coquette Bake Shop (Bainbridge Island)
Rubinstein Bagels (Redmond)
Good Bagels Cafe (Anacortes)
Mustard Seed Baking Co. (Stanwood)
Blazing Bagels (Redmond)
Otherside Bagel Co. (Bellingham)
Whidbey Island Bagel Factory (Mt. Vernon)
Woodinville Bagel Bakery (Woodinville)
Big Apple Bagels (Bellevue)
MY NEW YORK AREA BAGEL RANKINGS (12/11/23)
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