Can I find a good New York bagel at... Bagel Hole
If you want something done right, you gotta go to Brooklyn.
Welcome to It’s A Shanda, one Northeastern Jew’s quest to find a decent bagel in Seattle (and beyond). If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, make sure you subscribe so you never miss a review. If you want to make sure I review any specific bagels (or want to let me know why I’m wrong), you can email me at itsashanda@substack.com.
In 2020, then-New York City mayor Bill de Blasio found himself in a bit of bagel drama.
In a tweet meant to extol the greatness of New York bagels, he shared his favorite order. A whole wheat bagel toasted with extra cream cheese from Bagel Hole in Brooklyn’s Park Slope.
Setting aside for a moment that no self-respecting New Yorker admits they order their bagel toasted, there was a serious issue with that claim.
Bagel Hole does not, and has never, toasted a bagel.
“There’s no need to toast the bagel,” Philip Romanzi, the owner of Bagel Hole, told the New York Times. “Truthfully, if it’s a fresh bagel, it doesn’t taste good after you toast it.”
de Blasio deleted the initial tweet and tried again, this time omitting the “toasted” part. However, the damage was done and he was forced to tweet a mea culpa.
“What can I say, I must have a hole in my memory,” he wrote in a since-deleted tweet.
New Yorkers had a field day with de Blasio’s claim, dubbing it #BagelGate. New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells wrote “It’s like saying the go-to order at your favorite slice joint is cauliflower, hold the cheese.”
While New Yorkers all took turns clowning on their weird mayor (an ongoing tradition), the gaffe also brought some attention to the bagel shop in question, which has long been considered one of the best in the city.
Opened in Park Slope in 1985, Bagel Hole lives up to its name as a literal hole-in-the-wall that appears mostly unchanged in the decades since. Cash-only until very recently, the shop has always kept its bagel-making process simple, making “hand-rolled, old style bagels” and a menu that focuses on classic flavors.
They’ve gained a reputation for having a brusque staff and lots of rules, but their bagel is still considered one of the best in New York by many.
Just don’t ever, ever, ever ask them to toast one.
We’re off to Park Slope to find out just how good Bagel Hole’s untoastable bagels are.
And if you want to know how I define a good bagel, you can find that here.
WHAT I ORDERED
Plain bagel as-is ($1.40)
Sesame bagel with scallion cream cheese ($3.50)
THE EXPERIENCE
Before we get to the store itself, I want to show you how I knew Bagel Hole was going to be good: Their Instagram profile.
All due respect to your gorgeous photos, well-produced videos, and shared influencer content, but this is everything I want from a bagel shop’s IG page.
It hasn’t been updated in over four years.
The photos are mostly of things other than bagels, such as generically made menus and holiday-specific images.
The photos of the bagels themselves are uninteresting.
There’s a photo of canals in Hamburg, Germany for some reason.
There are six grainy and out-of-focus photos of a dancer (the owner’s son, who is a very successful performer) on stage.
I visited Bagel Hole the day after I’d eaten at The Bagel Nook. Immediately I was aware of how the stark contrast between the two. Whereas Bagel Nook was colorful, flashy, and overwhelming, Bagel Hole was quite literally a hole-in-the-wall with a drab, bird-poop-stained awning.
In the window was a printout that covered the ground rules for entering the store (again, this is what I want from a bagel shop). Among the things not allowed inside the shop were dogs, skateboards, dogs, scooters, dogs, and photos or videos (without permission).
As a rule, if you’re going to tell me that you do not want me to take photos or videos of your establishment at a time when those things might as well be currency to small businesses such as yours, then I have to assume what you’re doing is amazing.
I snapped a photo of the awning and exterior of the shop, put my phone away, and entered the Hole.
UPON FIRST GLANCE
The tiny interior is lined with old beverage fridges that lead you toward the counter. Behind it, an old-school bagel shop menu hovers over a smattering of bagel baskets. Since they stick to the flavor basics, they don’t need that many. To the side was a “Hot Bagels” menu that spelled out the cost from one bagel to 36, with every option in between. Various printed-out specials, newspaper clippings, and menu extras were taped haphazardly across both side walls.
Two people were working in Bagel Hole that day. The baker and the counterperson. She greeted me with a disaffected lack of concern for anything I might have to say. It was great. I placed my order and waited awkwardly in the silence of the shop as a line formed behind me.
Unfortunately, they were out of everything bagels for the day (a shanda?). As I looked across the baskets to see what I should get as an alternative, I was struck by the uniformity of coloring (golden browns) across the board. I decided to go with sesame.
After getting my order, I immediately made for nearby Prospect Park and found an empty picnic table.
TOP
The plain bagel was slightly on the smaller size of the expected range, featuring a small, long center and oblong shape. The coloring was a mix of golden brown to light golden brown. The top featured several crevices and texture points. It was very crinkly to the touch and somewhat firm.
The sesame bagel with scallion cream cheese, which was sliced in half, was a smidge bigger than the plain but also slightly on the smaller side. Slightly oblong with a medium hole, the coloring was a beautiful golden brown. The top was very firm to the touch. There was a medium seed hand and it seemed like some of the sesame seeds were toasted.
BOTTOM
The bottom of the plain bagel was very firm and knockable. It had a nice color and texture as well. There was no Cornmeal Ring of Doom (CRoD).
With the sesame bagel, I was a little confused by the look and texture of the bottom until I realized it was actually the top. The bottom had received the seasoning and I didn’t realize it. So I figured I’d just stick with how it seemed. This side was also very firm and knockable. There was no seeding and no CRoD either. The coloring was a really nice golden brown.
INSIDE/BITE
The plain bagel offered a crispy, tough rip and a lovely bagel smell. The bite was very crispy and the chew was dense but chewy. There was a strong rebound after the bite. Both the top and the bottom offered crispness and there were some crunchy bits on the sides.
A thought occurred to me while eating that it had a really wonderful plain bagel taste. That’s a hard thing to explain, but there’s a simple and elegant flavor to a great plain bagel that you can enjoy without the need for anything else. If you know, you know, as the kids say.
The sesame bagel was super crispy and crunchy and offered a medium rebound on each bite. The schmear application amount was effectively perfect. The cream cheese was flavorful and smooth and I noted the snap of scallion bits in each bite. The experience was uniform across the entire bagel and every bite offered texture and crispiness.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Every so often you eat a bagel that resets your expectations for what one should taste and feel like. It’s a reminder of how good a humble bagel can be without the need for bells, whistles, flavored cream cheeses, hunks of meat, or Cheetos.
This is that kind of bagel.
Is It Good Enough For The Goys?
They should be so lucky! When I think of all the goyim lining up at PopUp Bagel and Black Seed Bagel when places like this are a subway ride away, it’s a SHANDA!
Is It Good Enough For Northeastern Jews?
This not only meets the bar but exceeds it. If we’re going to get into nitpickery, you could argue that the edges were a little too thick. Also, running out of everything bagels before the afternoon is a tough one. That said, I’d return here before most of the other places I’ve visited in NYC. I’m going to put it just below BO’s Bagel if only because I feel like BO’s balance puts it a smidge ahead. But at the end of the day, this is one of the best bagels you’ll find anywhere
MY LATEST NY/NJ BAGEL RANKINGS (9/10/24)
Bagel Hole
O’Bagel (Hoboken)
The Bagel Nook (Princeton)
You can find my full bagel rankings here.
Thanks for actually reading this far. If you enjoyed my Seattle bagel review and want to read more of them, make sure you’re subscribed to It’s A Shanda. Know someone in the Greater Seattle Area (or beyond) who would appreciate way-too-detailed reviews of local bagels? Forward the link their way.