Can I get a good New York bagel at... Absolute Bagels

The Upper West Side institution has a cult-like following. Does it live to the hype?

Welcome to It’s A Shanda, one Northeastern Jew’s quest to find a decent bagel in Seattle (and beyond). If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, make sure you subscribe so you never miss a review. If you want to ensure I review any specific bagels (or want to let me know why I’m wrong), you can email me at itsashanda@substack.com.

You could make the case there was no bagel place in America I wanted to review more than Absolute Bagels.

I fully expected to do so during last year’s NYC trip but the line outside was so intense that I had to skip it. I opted instead for H&H Bagels, which was…not good. It was a bummer of a way to end my trip and I’ve kicked myself many times in the months since.

An impromptu New York City stopover gave me the chance to right that wrong. In fact, I had just enough time to review Absolute and PopUp Bagels, both of which I had on my must-try list. I had specific expectations for both heading into the trip. PopUp seemed to validate my presumptions about their product. Absolute, however, was the one I was excited to try because I had a feeling it was gonna be good.

Born in Thailand, Sam Thongkrieng moved to New York in the 1980s and began working at several bagel shops, most notably Ess-a-Bagel. In 1990, he opened Absolute Bagels on Broadway between West 107th and 108th streets.

In the decades since, the Upper West Side bagel shop has garnered a cult-like following and routinely shows up on “best bagel in NYC” lists and rankings, with some saying it’s the very best of them all. The line outside is so iconic that when it started forming on the southern side of its door instead of the usual northern side, that necessitated a discussion.

According to Bwog, employees say the reason Absolute’s bagels are absolutely above everyone else is that they’ve stayed true to a classic New York-style recipe and that their bagels are always fresh. Thongkrieng’s background also means it’s the rare bagel place where you can get your everything with scallion schmear along with a Thai iced tea.

The bagel scene around NYC (and America) was quite different in 1990 compared to 2024. The fact that this cash-only shop not only remains in business but continues to thrive makes it a rare artifact.

Does Absolute’s ongoing success come from a nostalgia for a bygone time or are the bagels really that good? Let’s find out.

And if you want to know how I define a good bagel, you can find that here.

WHAT I ORDERED

• Plain bagel ($1.75)

• Everything bagel with scallion cream cheese ($5.50)

THE EXPERIENCE

Tofutti gets its own section?!?

The last time I showed up at Absolute, the line was 50 people deep. This time I stopped by on a midweek early morning and was thrilled to find only a handful of people in front of me. Not realizing it was cash-only, I hopped over to the conveniently located bank on the next block and then got in the very reasonable line.

While waiting, I took in the classic vibe of the place. The old-school wall menu, complete with yellow lettering. I couldn’t help but notice that Tofutti not only got its own section on the menu but was also extremely substantial. Sure, why not?

While creeping up the line I passed by the schmear tubs, filled to the brim (and beyond). Eventually, I made my way to the ordering area, where you come face-to-face with mounds of freshly baked bagels. So stacked were these baskets that the bagels toppled over into one another, making it hard to know where the pumpernickels began and the whole wheats ended.

An older, surly man (possibly Thongkrieng?) approached me and said “Hello.” I wasn’t sure if it was meant as a greeting or a command. I gave him my order and he silently picked out the bagels and walked away. A woman was in front of me at the cash register so I stayed put. A few minutes later, the surly man reemerged at the register. He looked at me and once again said “Hello.” This time, I understood that was a command.

It was “annoyed efficiency” at its finest. I loved it.

The Isidor and Ida Straus Monument

I exited the bagel shop and walked across the way to Straus Park, a tiny triangle of greenery and benches between Broadway and West End Ave. I sat down near the Isidor and Ida Straus Monument, a sculpture dedicated to Macy’s co-owner Isidor Straus and his wife Ida, both of whom died on the Titanic (In the 1997 movie, they are the older couple pictured holding one another on their bed as their room floods). I would come to learn that Straus was Jewish (great!) and spent his early adulthood supporting the Confederacy during the Civil War (not great!). Curiously, their great-great-granddaughter Wendy Rush is the widow of Stockton Rush, the guy who piloted the Oceangate submersible to the wreck of the Titanic in 2023 and died when it imploded.

What does any of that have to do with bagels? Nothing. But New York City never stops teaching you something new.

UPON FIRST GLANCE

While I was waiting for my order, I got an up-close look at the bagels in the baskets. They seemed to meet all of the criteria I’m looking for. Great size, ideal coloring, and solid seasoning. Visually, they lived up to the hype.

I also had such an appreciation for the nostalgic simplicity of the product. I took my brown bag to the park, opened it to find the bagels wrapped in white deli paper (with the everything sliced in half), and saw they were accompanied by square white napkins. Perfect.

TOP

The plain bagel was bulbous and had some heftiness on all sides with a tight center. While big, the bagel felt very light and airy as I held it. The coloring ran from a nice golden brown to a lighter brown across the top. There was a nice swirl in the dough that elevated the look. The exterior was fairly uniform with no blistering. The top was soft to the touch but did have slight crinkles.

The everything bagel had the same size and heft to it as the plain. The coloring was a bit lighter in general. The top offered a light-to-medium seed hand. The bagel was soft to the touch on top. I did notice a similar swirl in the dough that just made for a nice visual.

BOTTOM

Both bagel bottoms were firm, blistery, and slightly crisp. There was no Cornmeal Ring of Doom (CRoD) present on either. As with the top, the coloring on the everything bagel was noticeably lighter than the plain.

INSIDE/BITE

The plain bagel offered a very soft rip and a beautiful “bagel smell” inside. The bite was texturally wonderful, between the crispness of the top, slight crunch from the bottom, and pillowy interior. The bagel rebounded really well after the bite as well. The interior was dense but fluffy, the best-case scenario for a bagel. There was no dryness to the interior either. In terms of taste, the “plain bagel flavor” comes through pleasantly.

The everything bagel included some very ample scallion schmear application as you’d expect. I also got some actual scallion flavor from the cream cheese, which isn’t always a given. I detected a whisp of salt (AS GOD INTENDED) in the everything seasoning. The bagel ate well thanks to the coldness of the cream cheese, which stayed in place with each bite.

The bagel did lack any kind of crunch or crispiness. Given the light coloring and lack of crisp exterior texture, I have a feeling this bagel was slightly underbaked. I also would have loved a little more flavor from the seasoning overall.

The other everything bagel

I happened to get an extra everything bagel that I could compare this one to and it did seem like that one was baked much better. I also brought some of the cream cheese over to the plain bagel and ended up having a much better eating experience thanks to the combination of the schmear and crunch.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I was a little bummed that the specific everything bagel I got was underbaked because had I gotten one of the many other crispy ones available, it might have been a transcendent experience. The plain bagel was a showstopper for sure, and I’m glad I had the extra everything bagel on hand to confirm my suspicions. Even though the everything bagel I reviewed was a little off, I still see Absolute for what it is. The ordering experience and nostalgic feel of the shop helped complete the feeling that this bagel lives up to the hype.

Is It Good Enough For The Goys?

They should be so lucky! Think of all the tourists who show up in NYC and stuff their faces with Black Seed Bagels, H&H Bagels, and even PopUp Bagels instead of these. What a shanda.

Is It Good Enough For Northeastern Jews?

It’s not even a question. I’m jealous of anyone for whom this is their neighborhood bagel shop. Given the issues with my order, I’m still ranking them below BO’s Bagels, which remains about as ideal of a bagel as I’ve eaten since I started doing reviews. But there’s no denying that Absolute has earned its reputation.

Also, can we talk about how a bagel of this caliber runs you $1.75? What a mitzvah.

MY NEW YORK AREA BAGEL RANKINGS (7/7/24)

1. BO’s Bagels

2. Absolute Bagels

3. Ess-a-Bagel

4. O’Bagel (Hoboken)

5. PopUp Bagels

6. Murray’s Bagels

7. Russ & Daughters

8. H&H Bagels

9. Black Seed Bagels

You can find my full rankings here.

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