All I wanted for Christmas was a Seattle bagel

I listened to way too much Christmas music this month to not get my bagel

Welcome to It’s A Shanda, one Northeastern Jew’s quest to find a decent bagel in Seattle (and beyond). If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, make sure you subscribe so you never miss a review. If you want to ensure I review any specific bagels (or want to let me know why I’m wrong), you can email me at seanmatthewkeeley@gmail.com.

Credit: Black Seed Bagels

The plan was to do a bagel review this past Sunday. I was going to pay a visit to Oxbow, as while I’ve done a second review as part of a head-to-head with Little Market, I haven’t done a true Second Schmear there yet. However, when I arrived at the front door, I was greeted by an empty store and a note on the door saying they were closed for Christmas Eve.

While I would have happily just popped over to Mt. Bagel, they’re closed on all Sundays. I also assumed that if Oxbow was closed, Little Market was probably closed too.

I had wanted to wait a bit before visiting the new Old Salt outpost in Ballard but all of a sudden it seemed like the perfect time. Hustling across town, I was excited to find out how the new location might impact the quality of their bagels. Alas, when I got there, I was once again greeted by a sign saying closed on Christmas Eve.

Since I was in Ballard on a Sunday, I also could have swung by the Aaron’s Bagels stand at the farmer’s market. However, at this point, I had learned my lesson and checked Instagram to find that they weren’t going to be there this week.

Yes, there were other bagel places I could have visited that were open, but if you know my rankings, you know why I didn’t stop at one of them.

The good news is that I had picked up a fresh order from Hey Bagels the day before, so my “consolation prize” was to return home and have a day-old salt bagel that still blew me away.

The whole sordid affair was probably avoidable had I checked social media accounts beforehand. But I think it also spoke to a sensibility that I’ve carried with me for most of my adult life.

I’m the kind of Jew who will occasionally ask what date Christmas is this year. There’s a piece of my brain that refuses to fully absorb that information despite its ubiquity. It’s a small act of defiance that I’ve made on a molecular level to push back on living in a society where I often have to filter my identity through the all-encompassing nature of American Christianity. That’s especially true during Christmas, which is, as The Simpsons once joked, “the time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”

None of that is to say that I’m mad all those bagel places weren’t open on Christmas Eve. It’s a holiday and, unlike some, I’m certainly not going to shame Seattle workers for the right to fair benefits and time off.

I think it speaks more to my own expectations and how I still view bagels as quintessentially Jewish even though I have a feeling they’ve gone beyond us now. I had some fun with the Big Apple Bagels’ founder saying bagels were “not ethnic food anymore” back in 1993 but I think a big reason that bothered me so much is, complicated phrasing aside, I think there’s some truth to it.

Even here in Seattle, the people who make bagels come from a wide variety of backgrounds. Some Jewish, some not. Some are interested in upholding traditions, others are interested in pushing boundaries. Some are looking to provide the full-service Jewish deli experience while others just want to sell you a really good bagel.

Based on my limited knowledge of the Portland bagel scene, it feels similar. And when you look at what’s happening in New York, the battle between old-school and new-school is raging.

My point, if I have one, is that it’s probably inevitable that as something becomes popular, it will adhere to the mainstream. And if there’s anything I’m sure of since I started this newsletter, it’s that bagels are more popular in Seattle now than they’ve ever been.

And so, when the world shuts down for Christmas, bagels shut down with it.

FYI, there won’t be a Wednesday post for paid subscribers this week but we’ll be back on Sunday with a review of one of the aforementioned places. Happy holidays, and, however you can get them, enjoy your bagels.

Thanks for actually reading this far. If you enjoyed my bagel review and want to read more of them, make sure you’re subscribed to It’s A Shanda. Know someone in the Greater Seattle Area (or beyond) who would appreciate way-too-detailed reviews of local bagels? Forward the link their way.