Welcome to the Seattle jalapeño cheddar bagel jamboree

We bring the heat with a brand-new spicy bagel series.

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Jalapeno cheddar bagels from Backyard Bagels

Back when Backyard Bagels was Aaron’s Bagels, I asked owner Aaron Emas what the hot seller was at farmer’s market appearances. It wasn’t even a question.

“I'm gonna make 100 of these on Saturday just because everyone's coming up and asking for them,” he said while prepping a batch of jalapeño cheddar bagels.

I wasn’t surprised, partly because I am myself a bit of a jalapeño cheddar bagel fiend.

That might not jibe with the whole “I’m looking for a bagel that reminds me of ones I grew up eating at the traditional Jersey bagel shop” thing I’ve got going on, but life is full of paradoxes.

As The Doughboys’ Nick Wiger might say, I’m something of a heatseeker, so I love the heat you get from a spicy jalapeño. There’s also something about the contrast between the piquant pepper and buttery cheese that works so well.

The jalapeño cheddar bagel has also been a true comfort food for me many times in my life. When things weren’t going well and I needed to find a little joy, I could always find it with a bagel smothered in cheese of questionable quality and topped with green chili peppers.

It gets tricky because I have a predisposed notion of what a good jalapeño cheddar bagel should be. It’s a bit like the Cormeal Ring of Doom in that it’s entirely a creation of my mind that remains unshakable despite any potential evidence to the contrary.

I don’t think the bagel aspect of the jalapeño cheddar bagel should be that good.

I don’t want to eat a bad bagel, topped with cheese or otherwise. But in my estimation, the best jalapeño cheddar bagels I’ve ever eaten usually aren’t about the high quality of the bread itself. The bagel here exists as a flavor delivery system. The less it gets in the way the better.

We’re not here for delicate crispiness or chewy, pillowy dough. We’re here for a spicy kick in the face and flavor bomb, both of which come courtesy of the toppings.

I’m willing to be proven wrong about that. Or perhaps, like with so many bagels I’ve eaten on this journey, I will come to find that two things can be true at the same time.

Only one way to find out. Let’s begin the Seattle Jalapeño Cheddar Bagel Jamboree!

Unlike the Great Seattle Pumpernickel Chase, I can’t just go out one morning and snag every jalapeño cheddar bagel in town. Not only do most Seattle bagel makers do a jalapeño cheddar, but some only break them out on special occasions. I’m not driving halfway across town on a Sunday morning to find out they only make these bagels on the third Thursday of months that begin with J.

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So, I’m gonna slowly work my way through all the bagel places that make a jalapeño cheddar regularly while also monitoring those who do it intermittently and catching them when I can. Each review will cover two or three bagels at a time, and the rankings will take shape over the next few months. I may skip a week here and there but expect to see some new jalapeño cheddar bagel rankings most weeks until we’ve got them all.

While my general bagel rankings are based on my whims and vibes, I’m handing out actual scores in the jalapeño cheddar rankings. Each bagel will get a score from 1-5 on Bagel Quality, Jalapeño Factor, Cheesiness, Middle, and Overall Experience, as well as an Intangibles bonus (which can add or remove points to the overall score). I’ll add all of those scores up for a Total Score out of 25.

Does that seem overly complicated? Well if there’s anything I love, it’s overly complicating mundane things. So here we are.

We begin the jamboree with a bagel from one of our most recent review spots and another from one of our first reviews.

The jalapeño cheddar bagel from Cafe Argento/Safeway and the jalapeño cheddar bagel from Rubinstein Bagels.

Cafe Argento/Safeway (L), Rubinstein (R)

Initial Thoughts

The bagel on the left comes from Cafe Argento or Safeway, as they both have the same supplier. I picked it up from Safeway and it was one of many in the case. I tried to pick the best of the bunch but the truth is that consistency was a real issue. Each bagel has different jalapeño placement and cheddar coverage.

The bagel on the right is a Rubinstein. In some ways, it looks more artisanal and in other ways, it looks more wholesale. They went for the jalapeño bits instead of the slices, which is a bold move. We’ll see if it pays off. The bagel is also smothered in cheese. There’s no chance of a bite that doesn’t give you everything.

Cafe Argento/Safeway bagel.

Bagel Quality

The Argento/Safeway bagel is entirely soft on all sides, extremely doughy inside, and not what I would consider high-quality. As noted above, I do not immediately think this is a bad thing. In fact, this is the kind of bagel consistency I’m used to seeing with a classic JCB.

Score: 4 out of 5

The Rubinstein bagel feels very sturdy. It’s also very oily and hard to get a handle on. I can’t tell if it’s incredibly small or just small compared to the other bagel. But I think it’s a little on the smaller side. The bottom is firm and the interior is dense but not dry.

Score: 2.5 out of 5

Rubinstein’s bagel.

Jalapeño Factor

Cafe Argento/Safeway boasts some classic jalapeño slices. It’s a decent ratio. I might have wanted to see one or two more. If you’re not careful, some of the ones on the edges fall off easily, which could be a disaster if you’re traveling. The slices offer a good spice level and kick. They left a heat trail in my mouth after I few bites.

Score: 4.5 out of 5

For Rubinstein, the jalapeño bits adequately covered the entire top of the bagel. There was no concern about taking a bite without getting at least a few. They offered some solid heat and I got that nice jalapeño flavor that lingers. I officially approve of the jalapeño bits method.

Score: 4.5 out of 5

Cafe Argento/Safeway bagel

Cheesiness

The Argento/Safeway bagel had the classic baked cheese look where it bubbled up and cooled. There are some firm cheese spots but they’re a little light on placement. Again, some bagels seemed to have more than others. When you do get a bite with the cheddar, it’s got some strong cheesy flavor. But other bites lacked it altogether.

Score: 2.5 out of 5

It looks like Rubinstein laid a slice of cheese across the top of the bagel and melted it. It didn’t cook down entirely, which I think would have masked the slice a bit better. I’ve seen the slice method done well elsewhere but I don’t think it looks as appealing here. The cheesy flavor was present but not memorable.

Score: 2 out of 5

Rubinstein bagel

Middle

Unlike a normal bagel, where the middle is either empty or contains a schmear blob, the center of the JCB is a critical component as it’s often a receptacle for cheese and jalapeños, forming either a crust, glob, or crackly bit that can make for a delicious mid-bagel treat.

The Argento/Safeway bagel’s center was empty but for a lining of cheese along the bottom. It was firm and wasn’t going to fall off. The issue is that this kind of cheese needs accompaniment. It’s not the kind of cheese you want to eat on its own. You need the balance of the other flavors. As such, it’s not a super-appealing bite.

Score: 1 out of 5

For the Rubinstein bagel, a little bit of the jalapeño and cheese coalesced along the sides of the center and the bottom. Not a firm hunk, but a little flavor boost to break up the bagel journey midway through. The jalapeño bits helped maintain some moisture so it wasn’t dry.

Score: 4 out of 5

Bottom of the Cafe Argento/Safeway bagel

Overall Experience

With the Argento/Safeway bagel, you get the jalapeño front and center. The cheesiness was muted except for the bites that didn’t include a jalapeño. The blandness of the bagel undercut some of the taste. However, when I got a bit with all three parts together, it hit me with the flavor profile of a classic JCB. The good bites were really good but the bad bites were unmemorable.

Score: 3.5 out of 5

The density and height of the bagel made for an awkward bite and the ratio felt off on most of them. Too much bagel, not enough jalapeño and cheddar. The jalapeño flavor did come through, however, with hints of heat throughout. Despite the coverage, I wasn’t getting as much cheese flavor as I wanted. The more I ate, the more I felt like it was a gutbomb.

Score: 2 out of 5

Bottom of the Rubinstein bagel

Intangibles

The Argento/Safeway is a big bagel. As noted, consistency varies depending on which one you get. Some were loaded with jalapeños, others were super cheesy.

Bonus points: 0

The Rubinstein’s size really threw me for a loop. Almost Eltana-esque. Coupled with it’s height, it made for a ratio that didn’t quite work.

Bonus points: -1

Cafe Argento/Safeway bagel

Final Scores

Tallying up the scores, we see that the Cafe Argento/Safeway JCB finished with a score of 15.5 out of 25. The Rubinstein JCB finished with a score of 14 out of 25 as that Intangible deduction came back to bite it.

So there you have it. A good baseline to begin the Seattle Jalapeño Cheddar Bagel Jamboree with. I’ve got my list of other Seattle bagel places to visit next but if you want to make any specific suggestions, shout them out in the comments below.

Seattle Jalapeño Cheddar Bagel Jamboree Rankings (10/4)

1. Cafe Argento/Safeway (15.5)

2. Rubinstein Bagels (14)

You can find my normal bagel rankings here.

Thanks for actually reading this far. If you enjoyed my bagel review and want to read more of them, make sure you’re subscribed to It’s A Shanda. Know someone in the Greater Seattle Area (or beyond) who would appreciate way-too-detailed reviews of local bagels? Please forward the link their way.