What do bagel orders tell us about a person?

When it comes to politicians, perhaps more than we think.

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Credit: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

In the world of New York City politics, there is perhaps no more expected softball question than, “What is your go-to bagel order?”

The key is, of course, to offer up an order that makes it clear you’ve been around a delicatessen or two while not alienating voters with something out of left field. Your answer should elicit a subtle head nod of appreciation and be something the voter barely remembers a week later.

It’s surprising how many politicians screw this up.

Former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, currently the front-runner in the New York City mayor’s race, was asked a series of questions by the New York Times last week. These questions vary in importance, but among them was “What is your bagel order or favorite breakfast sandwich?”

“Bacon, cheese, and egg on an English muffin, and then I try to take off the bacon, but I don’t really take off the bacon,” replied Cuomo. “The bagel I try to stay away from, to keep my girlish figure.”

Bro, what?

Cuomo has been hearing about it ever since, from rivals to other New York City politicians to the general public.

Not only did Cuomo diss the bagel for a very un-NYC order, but his syntax of “bacon, cheese, and egg” is the kind of thing a transplant from Kentucky might say their first time at Gertie’s.

“As a New York politician, you are stone-cold guaranteed to get asked this question on the campaign trail,” said ‘NY Bagel Ambassador’ Sam Silverman in a recent social media video. “Being so utterly unprepared to answer it in a normal and relatable way just demonstrates a complete carelessness that, to me, is indicative of a larger character flaw.”

Silverman’s video went on to break down the “3 most criminal bagel orders in NYC political history.” Cuomo has joined some very illustrious and confusing company.

bagelambassador

A post shared by @bagelambassador

First up was Bill de Blasio, already the mayor, admitting that his go-to order was a whole wheat bagel toasted with extra cream cheese from Bagel Hole in Brooklyn’s Park Slope. The problem? Bagel Hole does not, and has never, toasted a bagel. The mayor later tried to claim he misremembered his go-to bagel order, but the damage was done.

The other unthinkable order came from Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon, who said when running for governor that her favorite order was lox, red onions, tomato, capers, and plain cream cheese on a cinnamon-raisin bagel (which she ordered at Zabar’s). Every word makes this more horrifying than the last. The reaction to the order launched a thousand thinkpieces, but that doesn’t make it any less wild.

While Nixon’s order was criticized, and those criticizing her were criticized in return, the point was that it was a bad answer because it was so memorable.

Silverman had Cuomo’s order as the worst of the bunch. I say de Blasio is the biggest offender. Cuomo’s order is weird, but it sounded authentic. He seems like an out-of-touch rich guy who hasn’t stepped foot in a bodega in 50 years, so his wonky order tracks. However, de Blasio was caught lying straight-up.

At least Nixon’s order has an ethos, and she was willing to back it up. Perhaps her greatest crime was asking the deli worker to prepare her full bagel order at the fish counter. A shanda!

I think Silverman is correct in saying answers like the ones above are “indicative of a larger character flaw.” It’s not a 1:1 thing, but it’s also not surprising that each of these politicians gave an answer that ended up coming back to bite them in the tuchus.

For de Blasio, many New Yorkers found him untrustworthy and unlikable, and this was a great example of why. Nixon was inexperienced in the political world, and she ultimately set a trap for herself without realizing it. As for Cuomo, he’s been accused of being a “carpetbagger,” and his breakfast order doesn’t do anything to dissuade that notion.

(Also, between de Blasio’s whole wheat bagel and Cuomo staying away from bagels to “keep my girlish figure,” what’s going on with these guys making their daily lives less enjoyable? There’s probably a whole other thinkpiece in there.)

The bagel question only holds this kind of prominence in New York City. I tried looking around for other notable cream cheese-related faux pas in different parts of the country but couldn’t find any (Let me know if you know of any). I did find a Salt Lake City Tribune piece from 2018 called “What your bagel order says about you and your fitness to govern,” but even that harkens back to the New York City political scene.

Here in Seattle, we’ve done pretty well for ourselves when it comes to bagels. And people certainly have no shortage of opinions when it comes to which places are the best, what you should order, and why it’s so damn hard to find an egg bagel.

We also have an election coming up pretty soon. We’ll all be voting for mayor, city attorney, and three city council seats in November. There’s a lot to learn about the candidates, what they stand for, and what they plan on doing when elected.

I’m not saying that we can learn everything we need to know about them based on their bagel order… but we can learn something. So, I will reach out to every candidate running for office in the November election. I’m going to ask what their favorite Seattle bagel place is and what their go-to order is. We’ll see who I hear back from and, perhaps most importantly, what they have to say.

One word of warning. In doing this, I may be cursing any Seattle politician who responds. When I asked a group of “notable” Seattleites the same questions in 2024, two sitting Seattle City Councilmembers responded. Both Tammy Morales (sesame bagel with smoked whitefish salad from Loxsmith) and Cathy Moore (sesame with scallion schmear from Zylberschtein’s) have since resigned.

Were their resignations related to those revealing bagel order answers? Who can say…

While we wait for answers, I’m curious to know if a bagel order could influence your decision to vote for one candidate over others. Also, could your favorite candidate offer up a bagel order so heinous that it made you rethink your vote? Sound off in the comments…

Thanks for actually reading this far. If you enjoyed my bagel review and want to read more of them, make sure you’re subscribed to It’s A Shanda. Know someone in the Greater Seattle Area (or beyond) who would appreciate way-too-detailed reviews of local bagels? Please forward the link their way.