Your city's bagels are not as good as New York's, and that's okay
One or two good bagels do not a better bagel scene make.
Welcome to It’s A Shanda, one Northeastern Jew’s quest to find a decent bagel in Seattle (and beyond). If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, make sure you subscribe so you never miss a review. If you want to make sure I review any specific bagels (or want to let me know why I’m wrong), you can email me at seanmatthewkeeley@gmail.com.
For better or worse, I’ve developed a reputation among my Twitter followers for being a bagel weirdo. Go figure. The fun thing is that this means people are always sending me bagel-related imagery, local bagel news, and instances where someone says something outlandish about their city’s bagel scene.
Such was the case last Wednesday when I received this.
Hey, I know Drew! I’m a big fan! I read him for years on Deadspin and I really enjoyed his book “The Hike.”
I wonder how his bagel taste test went.
“SFGATE sent me bagels from both purveyors.”
Oh.
In order to maintain the integrity of the blind taste test, my wife dutifully (if grudgingly) unboxed the bagels.
Oh no.
…sliced them and then froze them.
OH NO.
…She then toasted half a bagel from each place
OHHHH NOOOOO.
The end result from Drew’s taste test of shipped, frozen, and toasted bagels? That the San Francisco bagel from Boichik is better than the one from NYC’s Ess-A-Bagel. Ergo, San Francisco bagels are as good as New York bagels.
Jesus Christ.
So, a couple of things.
If your local bagel place can’t beat a bagel that’s been shipped cross-country, frozen, thawed, and then toasted, then it should probably just shut down right now. There’s nothing impressive about that.
I’m sure this Boichik place is very good. I love the name, obviously. And I think my bagel journey has proven that good bagels do exist outside of the Tri-State Area. I would certainly say that Bagel Oasis stands toe to toe with many of the bagels I ate growing up and Mt. Bagel, had they remained in Seattle, was arguably among the best bagels I’ve ever eaten, period.
Even if this one San Francisco bagel place is better than that one New York City bagel place, it does not mean that “San Francisco bagels are better than New York.”
That third one is what got my hackles up in the first place because the title of the post acts as an apology to New York because San Francisco is now on par with them.
This was the central reason I started this newsletter in the first place. It was actually the Seattle Times headline “J. Kenji López-Alt says Seattle's bagels are as good as New York's” that made me turn this long-gestating thought into an actual journey. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that wasn’t true.
I’ve spent years reading about how every city in America eventually decides its bagel scene rivals, if not surpasses, New York and New Jersey. It’s been said about Los Angeles, the Bay Area, Chicago, Montreal, Boston, and even Asheville.
It’s always the same routine. A local writer finds one or two good bagel places in town and writes them up under the guise that this is proof that “INSERT CITY/REGION HERE” has surpassed the New York City region in bagel superiority. It’s almost always a trendy bagel place, run by a chef who has ties to the upscale culinary scene, who may or may not be relatively new at making bagels, and is trying to “remind you of the bagels they grew up with.”
Here’s the thing. I bet you can find a good bagel in each of those cities. Hell, I bet you can find multiple good bagels in some of them. Here in Seattle, Bagel Oasis and Little Market measure up. Other than that? It’s hard to say.
I felt the same way in Chicago. I bagel-tested my way through that entire city. Of the dozens of bagel places in the region, I found just one in the city that was actually good (Bro Bagel) and two in Skokie that measured up (Kaufman’s & NY Bagel & Bialy). That’s it.
And that’s the point. Good for everyone for extending the bagel reach across the country and putting their own spin on it. But when it comes down to it, one or two good bagels do not a better bagel scene make.
And that’s okay.
Seriously.
It’s okay to be proud of your local bagel scene. It’s probably doing a great job. But, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s not better than New York. It’s not better than New Jersey. It’s just not. The odds that your city can offer a consistently better bagel experience than the random bagel shop in a North Jersey town off the Turnpike that’s been around 70 years are infinitesimal. Not to mention that your local bagel shop is probably charging $3 for a lesser bagel than the life-altering one you can get back east for $1.50.
I mean watch this TikTok video. This is an erotic experience. Your Midwestern bagel place could never.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
I get that it makes for a much sexier headline to say “sorry New York, our bagels are simply better.” I work in online content and I can appreciate a desire to hook readers with an eyebrow-raising title. But once we get down to it, it’s always the same. They found one bagel place that’s good and does something interesting with their schmears. Therefore, New York is TRASH!
The point is that you can and should celebrate your local bagel scene. I’m all for the gospel of the good bagel spreading across the nation, even as I quibble with what some people find acceptable to consider “good.” You can champion your city’s or region’s bagels without even needing to bring NY or NJ into the conversation. Just like how no one in NY needs to make any claims about the freshest salmon, killer Mission-style burritos, or authentic tacos.
Everyone is trying their best, even though they can’t be the best. It’s still probably pretty good, and that’s good enough.
But, for the love of all that is holy and precious, if you are going to try to claim that your city does bagels better, at least have the common decency to not do a toasted bagel taste test.
Thanks for actually reading this far. If you enjoyed this and don’t want to miss any Seattle bagel reviews, make sure you’re subscribed to It’s A Shanda. Know someone in the Greater Seattle Area (or beyond) who would appreciate way-too-detailed reviews of local bagels? Forward the link their way.
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